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To set things right...

Yes, I made it back home to Seattle.
And yes, I decided I wanted to try to get my second chance here...

I figured it was a much better environment for me, and for those I have cared about, especially Mixy.

So it breaks my heart to hear he is not doing well.
I just want him to be happy... That is all I EVER wanted.

But to read this:
I can't.. I can't stand me. My heart's hurt and it's difficult to fix without bleeding out.. It's a mess and it's been this way for so long.. Since it was shattered by another's neglect.

Simply breaks my heart.

Am I that other person, whom he claims neglected him??

I came back to Seattle, thinking that if I were to have a chance to make things right, I would need to prepare a place where he would be safe to "come home" to.

He broke up with me.  It was he who ended something I was trying so hard to save.

If he were to ask me, right now, or tomorrow even, to drop the Swiftclaw name and become Drako Tags again - I would do it in a hearbeat.
I feel much more comfortable as a Tags, not a Swiftclaw.

I just wish he could feel well enough, loved enough, to come home.  To find his happiness at least.
Because I NEVER stopped caring, and I NEVER stopped loving him.

But I do need to set the record straight, by starting off with a question:
Can one be neglectful of another if he does NOT know the other wants his attention?

Sure we did a lot of our own things, but I know I was always ready and willing to give him attention when he demanded it.
(Even with the times when I was working on things and couldn't, I wanted to.)

But towards the end, it was he who ended up either too busy chatting on his laptop or playing his games to even so much as give me a hug when I got home from work.

The last week before our move south, he was on his laptop the entire time we were at my moms, and I was being the social one.
I felt neglected myself, because I was trying to get his attention, but not getting it at all.

I started to feel like something was seriously wrong between us, with his lack of attentiveness to me... and I began trying so hard to make things right again...
That I eventually began starting fights over the lack of attention....
Which is what led to him breaking it off with me...

And all I EVER wanted to do, was to make things RIGHT again.  Make things as they were more towards the beginning of our relationship.

I want to be there for him.
I want our friendship to grow.
I want him to be happy.

I wish there was more I could do now to do that, but other people got in the way, and led me to moving back home.

So my heart aches, because the one I love thinks I neglected him...When we really may have ended up neglecting each other - without even realizing it.
Becoming complacent with the idea that things between us would never change... and then things did change.

*curls up in a corner and cries*
  • Listening to: Starlight
Starting over...

Well, many of you have been wondering what has become of me since I started my
road trip.
I have made it back home to Seattle, and have already started a decent job.
(Yay for $15/hour minimum wage)

I did finally get myself into a position where I can focus on operational
stuff, and not having to deal so much with customer service, which is a plus for
me since I have felt the desire to do something like that.

I have been hurt by the mistakes, and the situations of my past.
But I hold no grudges, and I have no qualms.
For me, this is a fresh start, and I have learned much from my experiences.
For that, I am grateful and honored to have had them.

Yes, it is true that I have taken a last name from a past life that came to my recent memory.
It is in honor of this new begining.

I still care tons about Mixy, but his life will be in his own hands.
There really is not much more I can do for him to help him any, except to be there for him if he needs me.
I understand the truth behind what happened, and how we both ended up hurting each other in the end.
We took each other for granted, but it was the simple pleasure of knowing we were there that was really enough for us.
I can only hope that he begins to learn the truth, and to do something to make his own life better for him.

I am here for him if he wishes, and I will support any decisions he makes for himself.

While I never wanted to give up on him, it appears we have fallen apart, at least at the time being...

Sadly, this means I am lonely, and wishing someone could just love me, and be there for more.
I wish I had someone to cuddle, and to be close with...

But at the same time, after being burned twice, I must admit I am hesitant to commit.
I am scared of being hurt like this again.
I gave them my heart... and they crushed it.
I don't want to hurt like that again.

I never wanted to hurt him, and would never want to repeat my own mistakes.
I fear doing something like that again...

But I want someone in my life at the same time...
I am lonely and want to be loved...
  • Listening to: Starlight
Drako's Art Contest - June 2015

First official change in the Art Contest Since Drako's Den took over what was The TNSC Community....

This Month's Nomination Theme:
Geldings

This Month's Voting Theme:
Panthers

Nomination and Voting Deadline:
July 1, 2015

Head on over to drako.funurl.com to Nominate Art and to Vote now!
  • Listening to: Starlight
The New Drako's Den

Many of you who have been to TNSC lately may have noticed the following message:
"The TNSC Community is now Drako's Den

Please update all your bookmarks for our new Domain:
drako.funurl.com"

We are pleased to announced that we have created the New Drako's Den Community website.
(We do apologize for being over a month late in making this announcement)

A few changes of note for the new Drako's Den.
1-Users can still submit their art, images, and videos.
2-Drako's Den has an all new look and layout.
3-We have merged all the content from TNSC to Drako's Den.
4-We have moved the TNSC Forums to Drako's Den.
5-We have integrated the chat rooms to just the main room.
6-Drako's Den is an Adult Only website.  (We will be working on a mini-site for users under 18)

For this month, we are extending the Art Contest and therefore there is no news regarding the Art Contest.

We invite all users, both new and old, to check out the new Drako's Den at:
drako.funurl.com
  • Listening to: Starlight
A request...

The world is full of mistakes, it is how we as humans learn, grow, and become better people.

Therefore, I firmly believe that everyone deserves a second chance.

I myself am no exception to these things...

I have made some serious mistakes in my past, but its by learning from them that I can make the future better.
Not only for myself, but others I had affected with my mistakes.

I'm fairly sure that anyone, once realizing they made a mistake - would want things to change for the better, and to make things right.
Many wish they could go back in time and prevent the mistake - I myself fit in this on many things.

Like the mistakes that led me to where I am today, including some recent mistakes with someone I love and care for.
Which includes becoming a bit clingy with that person.

Sure I want to make things right, and I do want to be a better person.
I know I cannot undo what has been done, but I can learn from it, and change things for the future.

Also, it would be wrong to ask (or demand) for a second chance.
For the answer may or may not be an honest one, all depending on how the others feel at the time of the question being asked.

All one can ask for is that others will consider giving them a second chance.

Knowing this, I am asking that my friends (and that certain someone) will at least consider giving me a second chance.
  • Listening to: Starlight
To set things right...

Yes, I made it back home to Seattle.
And yes, I decided I wanted to try to get my second chance here...

I figured it was a much better environment for me, and for those I have cared about, especially Mixy.

So it breaks my heart to hear he is not doing well.
I just want him to be happy... That is all I EVER wanted.

But to read this:
I can't.. I can't stand me. My heart's hurt and it's difficult to fix without bleeding out.. It's a mess and it's been this way for so long.. Since it was shattered by another's neglect.

Simply breaks my heart.

Am I that other person, whom he claims neglected him??

I came back to Seattle, thinking that if I were to have a chance to make things right, I would need to prepare a place where he would be safe to "come home" to.

He broke up with me.  It was he who ended something I was trying so hard to save.

If he were to ask me, right now, or tomorrow even, to drop the Swiftclaw name and become Drako Tags again - I would do it in a hearbeat.
I feel much more comfortable as a Tags, not a Swiftclaw.

I just wish he could feel well enough, loved enough, to come home.  To find his happiness at least.
Because I NEVER stopped caring, and I NEVER stopped loving him.

But I do need to set the record straight, by starting off with a question:
Can one be neglectful of another if he does NOT know the other wants his attention?

Sure we did a lot of our own things, but I know I was always ready and willing to give him attention when he demanded it.
(Even with the times when I was working on things and couldn't, I wanted to.)

But towards the end, it was he who ended up either too busy chatting on his laptop or playing his games to even so much as give me a hug when I got home from work.

The last week before our move south, he was on his laptop the entire time we were at my moms, and I was being the social one.
I felt neglected myself, because I was trying to get his attention, but not getting it at all.

I started to feel like something was seriously wrong between us, with his lack of attentiveness to me... and I began trying so hard to make things right again...
That I eventually began starting fights over the lack of attention....
Which is what led to him breaking it off with me...

And all I EVER wanted to do, was to make things RIGHT again.  Make things as they were more towards the beginning of our relationship.

I want to be there for him.
I want our friendship to grow.
I want him to be happy.

I wish there was more I could do now to do that, but other people got in the way, and led me to moving back home.

So my heart aches, because the one I love thinks I neglected him...When we really may have ended up neglecting each other - without even realizing it.
Becoming complacent with the idea that things between us would never change... and then things did change.

*curls up in a corner and cries*
  • Listening to: Starlight

deviantID

jmac32here's Profile Picture
jmac32here
Drako Tags
United States
deviantWEAR sizing preference: M
Favourite genre of music: ROCK BABY!!
Favourite style of art: Furry
Operating System: I prefer Linux or PowerBat OS
Favourite cartoon character: Mewtwo
Personal Quote: I am your worst nightmare...

Drako has been living with his mate, Mix Tags, since September 14, 2007.
(We are currently taking a bit of a break and trying to rebuild our relationship at this time)
Interests

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Comments


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:icondr-35:
DR-35 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey. Thanks for the fav bro
Reply
:iconcyrustarber:
CyrusTarber Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Hey you! Long time no see~
Reply
:iconjmac32here:
jmac32here Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012
Has been a while.. happen to have a Jabber, GMail, or Google Account?
Reply
:iconcyrustarber:
CyrusTarber Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I have gmail and Google Talk, look up "cyrusthemewtwo"
Reply
:iconjmac32here:
jmac32here Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012
is that @ gmail?
Reply
:iconnoodleart:
NoodleArt Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2011
Really? Awesome! thanks for the heads up :)
Reply
:iconziude:
ziude Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011
Hola!!! Thanks a lot for watching and faving. I really appreciate it!!! ^0^!!!
Reply
:iconjivanika:
jivanika Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011
thanks for the fave
Reply
:iconwuhzzles:
Wuhzzles Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
thanks so much for the watch! ♥
Reply
:iconclawstarz:
Clawstarz Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
and the watch XD
Reply
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